Learning How to Horse & How to Rider

I have been so proud of how Charmer is doing these last couple of months. He just feels like he is finally learning how to horse. He is starting to learn that if I point him at a jump, I want him to go over it. Every time. When I ask him to rebalance in the canter and get off his forehand, he is finally learning how to properly respond to that. If I insist on lateral movements, he gets to work with only a few head tosses and angry moments.

It blows my mind that somehow we went from this:

To this:

I also feel like I am learning how to rider again. During the time I have owned him, I have doubted myself innumerable times. Occasionally, I have lost faith in him. And I have often despaired that I am ruining a perfectly good horse. But somehow, in the last few months, things have begun to click. Everything feels like it is falling into place, and I love it.

My own confidence is coming back. It is still not perfect, but little by little I am building on it. Now that I am starting to be less nervous in the saddle, my perspective is starting to change from "how do I not die" to "how can I get better". My position has substantially decreased over time, because I became more worried about hanging on for dear life than riding nicely, and correctly. With some of that fear beginning to subside, I am beginning to reevaluate my position and work on improving it.

Position needs HELP

It feels like for a long time, Charmer and I were both kind of plateaued. Not really progressing, but also not necessarily regressing. Just stagnant. Charmer didn't always know what he was doing, and when he got too upset about not knowing, he would explode (either bucking or bolting). Because of that feeling, I had a consistent feeling of riding a ticking time bomb, so I was always ready for the next bolt. We had both gotten too wrapped up in what might happen, or what was coming next. Somehow one of us broke that stalemate. I don't know if for one ride, I just happened to sit a little straighter and trust him, and it translated to him. Or if Charmer just decided that I needed some serious help and pulled his act, and it allowed my position to soften and trust him. Either way, as soon as that first little push came, it has been a snowball of greatness.

Whatever pulled us out of our slump was just the thing that we needed. I have been able to trust Charmer more and more, and in turn I have been able to start working on my position more proactively. Charmer is learning to trust my decision making skills, but also has been smart enough to know when I really messed up, and how to at least try and save my butt (thanks buddy!).

I think the most important thing that we are both learning, however, is to forgive each other. I am learning to forgive Charmer when he runs as fast as possible to the other side of the arena, because I know that in his brain, that made sense. He was scared, and the place he feels safest and most balanced is when he is galloping. He understood racing, and so that is often his go-to response when he gets afraid or overwhelmed. Charmer is learning to forgive my less than stellar balance. He has a huge jump and it really throws you out of the tack. It used to really bother him when I would get unseated and accidentally sit down a little on his back, or pull a little more than I intended to on the reins. Now he is starting to forgive me for my failings in this regard. Not that I don't want to get better at it, but he is learning to put up with my failings.

Charmer is at a place in his training where he is really learning how to horse. He is feeling more comfortable in his skin, and learning where to put his feet and how to use his brain. There is still a lot of work to do, clearly, but I am feeling really positive about the way he is progressing.

I will never get tired of this photo

I am at a place where I am starting to learn how to rider again. I am steadily regaining confidence, and my body has finally fully healed from the accident (yes the bone healed a long time ago, but a joint was injured as well and it took a year+ to heal). But most importantly I am at a place where I am trusting my horse. Plus, this will be the year I start getting back into a semi-regular lesson program. I have budgeted myself so that I can realistically get back into lessons at least a couple times a month. Hopefully at least once a week.

As you can see, we need all the help we can get #FAIL

Excited for what our progress will amount to in a few months - with a horse that is so willing all the time now, a rider that is seriously dedicated to improving her position, and incorporating a trainer that will help pull all the pieces together - anything is possible.