Riding The Horse You Have - Lesson Edition

I have a tendency to ride how I expect my horse to be. Sometimes that means I ride super defensively because I am expecting to be riding a rocketship, and I end up having a quiet, controlled horse. But I don't adjust my riding accordingly. Other times, I am coming out expecting the actual broke horse that I know he can be, and I get a very unfortunate surprise.

This would be the broke horse, that I like to ride. He is the one that I can send forward and bring back and I can jump. This is the horse that I was expecting in my lesson today. I got him for maybe 30% of the ride, when I expected 70% of the ride to be riding a broke horse. 

Needless to say I was a little unpleasantly surprised when I got this instead:

 I came out expecting to ride my fairly broke horse and get some serious tips on my own riding (because I need it). Well my baby ex-racehorse decided he didn't want to be an ex-racehorse anymore. And after one of the jumps (a freaking crossrail no less). He literally just took off. I have honestly never even ridden him half that fast before. He hunkered down and grabbed the bit and RAN. Still shocked I didn't come off, but somehow I stayed on and we actually were able to continue the lesson.

I really have never been truly scared of Charmer. I get nervous of doing things on him, things like jumping certain heights or letting him canter bigger or trying to ride him when other horses are running up his butt. But honestly he doesn't scare me, in and of himself. I more just get scared of the idea of falling or personal mental blocks that I have. That was the first time I have ever honestly gotten scared of him.

You know if it had been my decision it could have been fun. He is fast and just wow. Someday I'll have to really let him open up when its my decision because I've never ridden a horse with so many gears.

Then I got a little defensive and did not want to put us in a situation for him to be able to do that again. Once was enough for one day.

Well of course once I start riding like my horse is a psycho (well because he was). Then he decides to be the horse I've been used to riding for the last 3 weeks. Coming and leaving the jump in the same pace, calm and quiet turns, paying attention. And I still am riding so so defensively. But my nice broke horse came back! Uggghhhh I'm so frustrated with the fact that my horse and I could not get on the same page today.

One of the only nice jumps we got all day

We had probably 2-3 actual solid jumps where I got to put my hands forward, and trust him, without him making me regret it. And I actually rode the horse I had in that moment, and it felt so great.

Was jumping that crossrail like its 3' really necessary?

We had one of those "when it was good it was great" but "when it was bad it was terrible"  kind of days.

Definitely a little more frustrated with myself than I expected to be. My trainer helped me so much, and I'm so very grateful to her. But I had really been looking forward to a lesson to actually have some real work on my position and my riding, and it ended up being a lot of working on my psycho horse not trying to kill me. And I unfortunately only rode the horse I had for maybe the final 5 minutes of the lesson. Which kills me. I need to pull it together and be able to ride the psycho horse when I am given him and turn the crazy into productive. But I also need to be able take advantage of the moments when I have a broke horse under me, and use that positively and be able to put my hands up and trust him and let him go forward when he tells me that he is paying attention.

But hey, on the bright side, we did jump some actual different jumps without needing poles before and/or after the jump. And we have upgraded from my trainer telling me "do NOT put him on a two-track" because he would buck and be a psycho (bonus points: as psycho as he got today, ther were no bucks! just running but that's not bucking at least!), to now telling me "why isn't he on a two-track?". Now we need to work on him being more and more in a two-track straight line, than a bent three-track circle. Which is progress. Also throughout the entire lesson I kept being chicken about various things but mostly his speed, and my trainer kept telling me "I have more faith in your riding than you do!". So ya know, at least someone has faith in my riding.